I really had no idea how tightly wound I am right now until last night. I completely fell apart over basically nothing–a television show, it doesn’t even matter which one. Possibly a legitimately moving show, but let’s just say my response was disproportionate at best. Fell. Apart.

The house is nearly done, but our loan hasn’t been approved yet. We get no response from our mortgage broker when we email asking about it. We haven’t done anything at all toward packing or planning a move because we don’t know whether it’s actually going to happen. The other stuff we need to take care of can’t be done until we close on the house, if indeed we’re going to. This process started in April, and we’re now half-way through June.

I feel like I’m just waiting for each day to end the moment it starts. We’re waiting for so many things to resolve right now, all things that are completely outside our control. And they’re big things, which when added to the constant state of waiting that we writers are in anyway, has apparently become Too Much.

I know something’s going to happen soon, but not knowing when is taking its toll emotionally and creatively.

4 thoughts on “Waiting

  1. That is epically frustrating. I would be a total wreck, because waiting for something like that is a special kind of hell. So, you’re not unreasonable in your emotions, in case you needed to hear that. I would suggest chocolate and something with alcohol.

    Also, the crying-over-a-tv-show catalyst — I have SO done that. When I’m face-deep in a pile of kleenx wailing over something fictional that happened to someone fictional, I usually discover, “Oh, WOW, this [insert item here] has been KILLING me.” I suppose it’s better than not realizing it, but I usually end up being a hot mess.

    Anyway, Christie, if you need to vent — I’m here. Okay? Sending hugs your way. :-)

  2. House purchases are do frustrating. You seem to be handling it pretty well, considering how stressful it is and everything else on your plate. This is one of those times where your friends can see how many balls you’re keeping in the air while you’re freaking about about the blurs in front of your face.

    Keep it up, you’re doing fine. :)

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