Crappy self-talk

Crappy self-talk

I’m back in that horrible headspace (do I even LEAVE it anymore?) where I’m utterly convinced my career is over before it even began and anything I try to write will be just wasted time and completely suck and I should take up knitting instead because I’m never, ever going to write anything anyone will buy ever again as long as I live.

This, of course, is tiring and toxic, and not what any of you need to hear any more of, because frankly I’m in this space WAY TOO OFTEN.

Jeremy figures I need to just start writing. I know from past experience that he’s right, and after two or three days it won’t be so hard anymore. Ken assures me that he, too, still experiences this, and that guy’s stories sell like gangbusters. (What is a gangbuster, I wonder, and why do I want one?)

So yeah, last night was kind of a writing night, but not really. I’m exactly the kind of writer I hate most right now: the kind who whines about failure but doesn’t actually write.

Tonight’s a Lightspeed night. We’ll see what tomorrow is.


9 thoughts on “Crappy self-talk

  1. It sounds like you’re getting good advice. I’ve been there too. Getting in that slump where it feels like none of your ideas or good or that nothing will ever sell. But if you just force yourself to write you’d be surprised what your brain comes up with. Then you look back on it days later and say, “Wow. Maybe I’m NOT terrible at this after all!”

    I hope your inner voice cheers up!

  2. Thanks for this. I’ve been pushing myself to be more consistent about writing, in part to get myself out of a similar headspace. It’s amazing how I feel the worst about my work when I’m not actively doing it.

  3. Hon, maybe you need to sit back and not write for a bit. Find that thing you love about it again before you hit the pages.

    Hope that all this doubt ends soon.

  4. My favorite way to get out of the slump is to take 10-20 minutes and make it into a game or a timed writing exercise. Finding joy while writing is so important! You can do it!

  5. Oh my dear lord. You and I are living in the same space right now. I think I’ve had a longer lease though. It comes down to the fact that I am terrified. “What if I write and no one likes it. Will I ever sell another story?” I’ve slowly and surely made changes to try and combat this, but it’s like anything. You’ll do it when you kick fear’s ass, step on its balls and stand triumphant.

    It will happen. It has to. You are too damn talented for it to not.

    Hugs.

  6. first off, you are absolutely amazing and will certainly turn right around and write some totally awesome shit.

    secondly, /sigh… yah, I know this feeling. sorry you happen to be in this headspace right now.

    take a breather, do something fun, you’ll be okay.
    /hugs

  7. Failure is a matter of self perception, which sometimes requires a reconfiguration of perspective. The real validation of who you are comes from doing what you do. That’s what matters. Life is short. Enjoy it. Write (for you first, others maybe a close second) and the rest will sort itself out in time.

  8. I go through those periods all the time, usually while sitting down to edit what I’ve already drafted. The paralyzing fear wavers between “How am I ever going to fix this horseshit?” and “What was I thinking?”

    I’m realizing that this mentality is my brain’s way of giving me an excuse to quit or procrastinate. When I ignore that voice and plow through, I find that, you know, this isn’t as bad as I thought.

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