Inkhaven

Archive for 2010

I have returned

I missed the last two days of the creativity challenge, as I was on the previously mentioned road trip.

Blog posts are just better with pictures, and since I didn’t actually take any of San Francisco, you can look at the cover for Spellwright instead.

Friday was focused on getting up to the Bay Area, catching up with Michelle, and getting to a reading by author Blake Charlton, which I enjoyed tremendously. I was very pleased to make Blake’s acquaintance in person, having known him for a short while online.

Blake is an incredibly engaging speaker, and possibly the smartest guy I’ve ever met (no lie). His novel Spellwright promises to be as thoughtful and entertaining as the author himself.

Saturday I saw parts of San Francisco, appreciated some art, and enjoyed Michelle’s company. Much wine and sushi was consumed. Today we slept in and were just anxious to get home. It was a fine and worthy trip.

I wish the timing had been different, though, because I was really a little bit off my axis for most of the weekend. I think this is because last week was such a wildly unusual one–a very dark and unhappy one, in fact, due to very late hours on the day job and insomnia, but it was punctuated by a couple of sun-bright flares of Awesome. I felt like I wasn’t really capable of giving those flares the attention that they deserved, coming as they did in the midst of the rest.

After that I didn’t have a chance to feel normal again–to process the good, put the day job behind me and counter it with these other things that are so important to me, to just get grounded before we left for the weekend. This left me feeling very off-center, full of self-doubt, worry, and unanswered questions for most of the trip. Just bad timing, really.

So I got home and immediately did what I know to do: focus on the work. It helps. Every time. I brought my best to it and earned my keep tonight. The self-doubt and questions remain, but they’re a lot quieter when there’s a manuscript in front of me and a list to check off, and the knowledge that someone else’s tomorrow is a little easier because of what I did today.

Tomorrow, it’s back to the day job, back to the Creativity Challenge, and I hope back to normal, because I’d really like to check out those flares again.

Cheers.

---

It’s dark, and we’re wearing sunglasses: Day 3 of Creativity Challenge

This is Day 3 of the Mind on Fire Group Creativity Challenge, created and hosted by my dear friend John Remy. Every day he is introducing a new randomized creativity prompt by pulling a card from a Tarot deck. The scope of what you do with it is limitless.

Today’s card is Two of Pentacles.

In the spirit of the card–finding balance, having fun, and adapting quickly–I’m going to go on a road trip, commencing in about two hours. We’ll call it ‘performance art.’

Don’t know how available I’ll be to complete this project this weekend, but I’ll try. Have a great weekend, everyone.

---

299,792,458 m/s: Day 2 of Creativity Challenge

This is Day 2 of the Mind on Fire Group Creativity Challenge, created and hosted by my dear friend John Remy. Every day he is introducing a new randomized creativity prompt by pulling a card from a Tarot deck. The scope of what you do with it is limitless.

Today’s card is The Hermit.

---

Mind on Fire’s Group Creativity Challenge, Day 1

Man this project SO appeals to my inner failed goth child it’s ridiculous.

Today’s card was the Knight of Swords.

Today has been a very big day, and this was a good opportunity to stick a flag in the ground and claim it.

---

Stretching, & other people’s Awesome

So sometimes it’s good to stretch.

Things have normalized since the beginning of the month. Right now I’m neck-deep in reading, which is fantastic. (Note: if you haven’t heard, Lightspeed will be closed to submissions for a little while starting April 15, so if you haven’t submitted yet, get it in!) Podterning proceeds apace. I also am pretty pleased with the way the new story is coming along. I wish I could spend more time with it, but the time I do spend is quality time.

But it’s time to stretch a little. John at Mind on Fire is doing a week-long collaborative art project, where he’s introducing the randomizer of a daily Tarot card to inspire…whatever. At first I said “I don’t have time” and then he gently reminded me that the scope could be anything from a tweet or a doodle to something more elaborate. Out of excuses! Okay, I’ll do it. Stop on by John’s blog and join us. The tone of my own blog will change a little bit for the next week as I post whatever it is that I come up with to make from John’s prompts.

Fond acquaintance Jeremiah Tolbert (writer, blogger, photographer, web designer, and all-around Jack of Arts) has launched a new project called Make Awesome Sauce, a collaborative home for all things Awesome. I think he’s about to open up membership to the public. Be sure to read the Manifesto. I absolutely love that he made being nice a requirement. You can follow the project on Twitter @makeawsauce.

Hm, what else?

Oh, I didn’t get into Clarion, but my friend Adam Israel did! Completely stoked for him.

Lastly, another stretch: I have a Weekend Away planned with my friend Michelle, who I have barely talked to since we both started working from home. We’re going to San Francisco, which I’ve only done once 13 years ago and I don’t remember much about it. I keep panicking about the things that won’t get done while I’m away for three whole days (oh yes, I AM taking the netbook, why do you ask?) But then I remind myself that a writer needs to get out and actually see and experience the world from time to time. When I justify it that way, the panic subsides. A little.

Have I always been this neurotic?

---

I think I’ll keep doing what I’m doing

via We Love Datavis

---

Maintenance

I just did quite a bit of overhauling to the website content. This may mean that you RSS readers might either a) lose your feed, or b) get the last ten posts in your feed again. I’m not really sure which. I do know that the actual RSS link on the site now works, which is good news, because it didn’t before.

Sorry for any inconvenience this may cause.

So, that happened

There must be a blog post in me somewhere about this. For some reason I’m having a hard time drumming it up.

I know! I’ll include visual aids.

These books were given to me by my paternal grandmother when I was four. They date from the 30s. I don’t know where the rest of the set is; I have found them online and eventually I will replace the missing ones. But the important one–the one that I always loved best–is the one on top here, Through Fairy Halls. Volume six of twelve.

This book is where I learned to love fairy tales. From it I learned what a fairy tale is, that they are found in all countries of the world, and are complex little realities unto themselves. Which is what that story I just sold was about.

Right. I sold a story. It is my first. It’s the sort of thing that I’ve imagined repeatedly over the years, and it did not go down at all how I thought it would. Instead of a month or two of sitting in a slush pile and then getting some kind of formal business-like response, I submitted it ridiculously late at night, and a very personal and complimentary email was in my inbox when I woke up the following morning. I was still in bed, actually, one eye open, reading blearily. Then apparently I hit “Archive” accidentally and the email disappeared. I actually thought “oh, I’m still asleep, that makes more sense,” but when I was a little more restored to myself I searched for it and voila, there it was.

I had expected to be elated. I’ve been working at this for seven years, almost eight, working very hard to learn the craft. I’ve flirted with giving up once or twice, but my tenacious streak always won out, and it seemed like that first sale would be a very emotional culmination of those years of trying. Instead of the kind of chest-bursting joy I had always imagined I would feel, I was just kind of dazed all day. I don’t know how many times I reread the email, checking to make sure I hadn’t misunderstood, that it really said what I thought it said.

When I told my daughter it was hard to even say the words–it felt like a lie. She had to be elated for me that day. That was Monday. On Tuesday I kept getting hit by waves of anxiety, and I had to just put my head down and work to avoid thinking about it. (Being busy is great for that sort of thing.) Yesterday, Wednesday, I finally told the rest of my family and friends, and they, too, were elated for me.

I’ve been trying to take apart what it is that is holding me back from really being as excited as I always figured I would have a right to be, and I think it’s this: the work isn’t done. It’s a milestone, yes, but it is also entirely possible that I will never have a story come together the way that one did ever again. As many kind things as the editor had to say about it, I keep thinking “yes, but so much of that wasn’t even there until the final draft.” It took so long to get it there.

I learned a lot writing that story. I finally figured out some things about voice, and structure, and tension. And that’s great, but now I have to go apply those things to something else, because right now it feels like a fluke. There’s still so much more to learn.

A friend asked me whether I’ll revisit my novels now that I’ve kind of cracked this short story thing. The answer is no, I need to prove to myself that I really have cracked it. I think I’m sticking with short stories for a while yet. I’d like to learn to get those critical elements in much sooner than I did on this one. I want to play with different structures.

So I did what we do: I started working on the next thing. The new story is now steeping in my head, and I’m making notes and planning the way I’m going to structure it. The last one was ambitious; this one is more so. It’s about this guy, who I find super-creepy and fascinating. It’ll be interesting to have him living in my head for a while:

Going to do my best to pull it off. Here’s hoping.

If you were one of the many people who either critiqued TALS or offered their congratulations, thank you so much. <3

---

I suppose this deserves a blog entry

So I applied to Clarion today. I finished editing my second story early this afternoon, paid my application fee, proof-read my essay, and did it. It was absurdly stressful.

I’m not anxious about getting in–I assume I won’t, and even if I do I’m still not sure I could go because of the expense and the very narrow window they give you to come up with tuition. This wasn’t about getting in. It was about applying, because applying was something I’ve wanted to do for years.

Getting into Clarion is a long-term goal. It’s on my five-year list. My short-term goal was getting a couple of stories together that I believe are my best work, making them as good as I can get them, and clicking the damn button.

So. That’s done then.

I’m going to go eat a steak, open a Bogle Petite Syrah, and watch Star Trek.

Thank you to all of my awesome writing friends and Twitter acquaintances who critiqued these stories and encouraged me to do this. You guys are the best.

---

StarShipSofa

Matt wrote an excellent post on why StarShipSofa deserves a Hugo nomination. Go read it. Please. :)