I spent the last few days stressing out about having to include a “short bio” with a submission for an anthology that will in all likelihood reject my story anyway. It's funny how these things can seem so huge. I ended up in Forward Motion, because they are wonderful, helpful people. The advice and help that I got there was excellent and got the job done.
So, that done, I submitted the story — with one change. I have rewritten the first page of this story so many times I've lost count — often due to my interpretation of an editor's comments. As a result it just wasn't the first paragraph that I had loved anymore, so many drafts ago. So I decided to trust myself, and change it back.
I don't know if that's the right thing to do. I don't know if it's stronger or weaker for it. And this may sound like some kind of emotional masturbation, but I think I'm going to try to trust myself in my writing for a little while. That does not mean I won't accept critique — just that I'm going to stop second-guessing every goddamn word I write.
I had hoped to get a new story out the door by the end of May — that's not going to happen. But at least I got this one turned around and back out without the usual wondering whether I should retire it.
Now it's time to watch a movie and relax. Thanks, FM folks. I appreciate your help. I wouldn't have got even this far without you.
(And I still have so far to go.)